Misconceptions about Veterinarians

Recently I have been hearing some very upsetting things about the way people view veterinarians and the veterinary profession. I know that some people will always believe the things they've heard, but I'm hoping that maybe I can clear up a few things to encourage people to try to view vets in a different light.

And of course, there are many people that really do appreciate and respect vets, and I can promise you, vets appreciate you right back! But if you do happen to know people that might believe some of these misconceptions/myths, please share this with them.

Myth #1: "Vet school is just a two year program out of high school, right?"

No, no, no, no, no. To become a veterinary technician, yes. To become a vet and to go to vet school, though? Let me just give a quick recap of what that entails:

1. Get good grades in high school so you can be accepted into a good university.
2. Take a minimum of 3 years to complete all of the vet school prerequisites (or in most cases, a degree) at said university.
3. Make very good grades the entire time.
4. Spend evenings, weekends, breaks from school, and holidays working your butt off in vet clinics, animal shelters, zoos, on farms, with volunteer groups, and in research labs in order to complete the THOUSANDS of experience hours necessary to even have a competitive application for vet school. 
5. Complete appropriate entry exams and do well on them.
6. If you are selected for an interview, prove yourself to be well-rounded, determined, and ready to handle the stresses of vet school.
7. If you are accepted into vet school, complete a minimum of 4 years (a very difficult and stressful 4 years) of cramming as much information into your brain as you possibly can and getting as much clinical experience as you possibly can. Oh, and don't get a single F or more than 2 D's or you'll be kicked out. 
8. Pass the boards.

Then you get to be a veterinarian.

Myth #2: "Vets aren't REAL doctors."

Yes, they are. You don't get that fancy DVM (Doctor of Veterinary Medicine) behind your name unless you are a real doctor. Vets complete just as much schooling and just as intense/difficult of schooling as medical doctors do. Maybe even more intense. MDs only have to learn 1 species front and back. Vets have to learn at least 4 species just as well as MDs have to know humans, and there are many, many other species vets have to know a heck of a lot about. And I'm not even going to go into the differences in pace and difficulty level of the classes vet students take in comparison to med students, but just know that vets are more than worthy of the title "doctor".

I have an awesome shirt that says: "Real doctors treat more than one species."

Myth #3: "Anyone can be a vet as long as they don't mind killing animals."

If you think anyone can endure everything I've just talked about, then sure. Anyone can be a vet. But that whole killing animals thing... I'll get into this more in a bit, but let me just make sure you know right now: vets DO NOT want to kill animals. Especially healthy ones. They DO mind having to do it, but because of irresponsible pet owners, they are forced to. Pet owners are the ones that neglect, abuse, over-breed, and abandon their animals. Not vets. Vets are simply left to clean up their messes by helping end the pain of suffering animals (whether that be by treating those animals or by euthanizing them).

And maybe it seems like vets don't mind euthanizing animals because sometimes they don't really react emotionally to it, but trust me, the emotion is there. Vets are professionals, and they can't really just break down and cry every time they are asked to euthanize an animal. Compassion fatigue is also a very real thing (that's when vets have seen so many sad things, have been called 'terrible people' so many times, and have had to try to desensitize themselves to death for so long that they finally break down and have to get away from it all). 

Myth #4: "Vets are rich."

This one gets me every time. I'm sure there are a few wealthy vets out there, but your standard, hometown veterinarian? No way. Not unless they've gotten super lucky somehow. Here are a few numbers to help explain why that is:

Average salary of a well-established vet: $85,000
Average salary of a vet coming out of vet school: $50,000-$60,000

That doesn't seem too bad, right? But compare that to what medical doctors make ($160,000; we're talking general practitioners here), and then keep in mind that vets have to go through just as much schooling as those MDs....

Average student loan debt of a vet student: $150,000-$250,000

So yeah... if you think vets are rich, you are sadly mistaken. Do they do okay for themselves? Maybe. Do they sometimes struggle to pay their staff, keep their business afloat, and support their families? Most likely, yeah.

Myth #5:  "Vets are greedy bastards and are only trying to make a profit."

This could not be farther from the truth. I mean, yeah, vets try to make a profit because they have to make a profit or they wouldn't have a job (and in some cases wouldn't be able to feed their families), but are they greedy bastards? Definitely not. Obviously not. They paid thousands of dollars and put themselves through the school version of hell to help people and help animals because that is their passion! If a vet could provide their services to you for free, I don't know a single one that wouldn't do it. But it's not like they get financial support from the government to help pay for their clinics or treatments. They need you to help them help you!

It seems like there are generally two types of pet owners: those who consider their pet a member of the family and those who...well, don't.

For those who have pet family members: You love your pet like it's your child. Of course you want to give it the best care possible, but vets are so expensive. But when you really think about it, are they?

Pretend health insurance wasn't a thing for a second, and imagine how much money you would spend taking your kid to the doctor. You'd easily drop a couple hundred dollars on one visit. Does that $40 exam fee seem so bad now?

What about when your kid breaks an arm and has to have surgery? Say goodbye to thousands (or even tens of thousands) of dollars. That $200 bone pin on your dog seems a lot more affordable, huh?

Of course, most people have health insurance for their families and themselves, and there are all kinds of programs to help with human healthcare. But animals? Well, there is pet insurance, but not many people take advantage of that opportunity, and no one really helps vets to pay for treatment costs, so they can't just do it for free.

For those who don't really consider pets to be part of the family: You either have that pet for a purpose (maybe monetary, maybe for a companion that's just not as important to you as your family) or because you feel obligated to have it (it's owner passed away or you don't want to take it to an animal shelter).

Maybe there's another reason, but either way, think of that pet as something not living for a second. Like a car. Maybe you don't really want it, but it's yours, and you can't really just throw it away. And you don't really want this car to be sitting in your driveway falling apart for everyone to see, do you? So if it breaks, you take that car to the mechanic to get it fixed. Do you get mad at the mechanic that it's going to cost him $300 to fix your car? No, it's his job. So you give him the money or maybe you try to find someone that wants that car a little more than you. Why should getting a pet the care it needs be any different?

I talked to a vet from the UK about this topic, and he really sums it up nicely: "My opinion is, if you can't afford even a tiny emergency fund/a few pounds a month in pet insurance, don't have the pet. Don't screw over someone who spent 5-8 years of their life studying and getting in life-long debt just to do this job and then tell them they're horrible people for earning a living."

Side note: I've heard people say things like, "Getting a dog fixed used to be cheaper. Vets are just trying to rip us off."  What? You think vets are immune to inflation? 

Myth #6: "Vet don't really care about your animals. They're just ripping people off."

Once again, you would either have to be completely insane or absolutely LOVE animals to put yourself through everything you have to go through to be a vet. Vets LOVE animals. They would not be doing what they do if they didn't. And they work so hard to help you and your pets in every way they can. You have no idea how much this kind of attitude hurts even vet students. It's completely disheartening and makes us feel like it's all for nothing because people who think this are a) very ungrateful or b) won't let us help their pets.

I think one reason people might jump to this conclusion is because they take their pet to the vet to find out what is wrong with it, and the vet wants to run a lot of tests that can sometimes be expensive. It's not because the vet is trying to squeeze as much money out of you as possible. It's because the vet wants to cover all of their bases and find out what is wrong with your pet. Because they care about your pet, and they care about you. If you have a limit to how much you can spend or are willing to spend, be upfront with your vet about it. Don't let financial regret and spitefulness ruin what could be a wonderful relationship with your veterinarian. And if you are upfront about it, that vet is still going to do everything in their power to help you.

Myth #7: "Vets don't really know what they're doing. All you really need is the internet or a good breeder to reference."

Actually, vets are quite qualified and absolutely know what they are doing. And if they are unsure about something, they will refer you to a specialist or consult with another vet. I cannot tell you how frustrating it is when a pet owner puts all of their faith in Dr. Google or their breeder, and then wonders why their pet dies suddenly (or better yet, blames it on the vet). The internet is full of false information, and animal breeders are NOT medical professionals. Vets are, and they know their shit (literally).

And yeah, even the best vets make mistakes sometimes, but don't let that one mistake or your bitterness after the death of a pet change your entire relationship with and opinion of vets. Realize that vets are human, and if you give them the chance, they can become one of the most trusted and valuable people in your pet's life. And maybe even in your own.

10 Things No One Tells You About Vet School

1. Vet school makes you feel like the stupidest person in the world.

You spend your entire academic career breezing through classes, hardly studying, making straight A's. Then you get to vet school, and suddenly, you're not the smart kid anymore. There are times you struggle just to pass (even when you study your butt off). You will genuinely celebrate C's (C's=DVM's after all). And making A's and B's? Better not spread that around because your classmates are going to want to kill you (except for those disgusting creatures with photographic memory that are still breezing through school... they just pity you). And don't be fooled when everyone assures you that you are eased into things your first year. First semester=weed out semester, and don't forget it.

2. Your pets become your specimens. And you'll never see them the same way.

During anatomy, you are encouraged to palpate structures in your pets. They hate you for it. All the poking and prodding and flexing and extending. Poor things. And really, after you've seen what they look like on the inside and have learned every single bone, muscle, artery, vein, nerve, etc., they aren't just your beloved pets anymore. They are these highly complex organisms with all these intricate systems with so many functions that can go wrong in so many ways. Your dog gets short of breath after running? Oh my god, what if he has congestive heart failure?! Your cat starts peeing more than normal? Must be diabetes..

3. You will be treated like a vet.

You'll be flattered, of course, but when someone finds out you're a vet student and starts asking you all kinds of questions about their pet's health, all you can do is shrug and feel like a worthless idiot. Yeah, you probably have more knowledge about animals than most people, but you don't know nearly as much as you want to know. Not yet, anyway. And you definitely can't make diagnoses or recommend treatment plans. So you say, "It sounds like things aren't normal; you should really take your pet to a vet," and then you get these weird looks of disappointment. Sorry, guys; I'm not a vet yet.

4. You will never fully trust a human doctor again.

I'm not saying human doctors aren't well-trained or don't know what they're doing... I'm just saying we might be a little more well-trained. First, it's harder to get into vet school than med school (near perfect GPA, thousands, yes, THOUSANDS of hours of volunteering/job shadowing/previous experience, high test scores.. it's not easy). And then you get in and realize that med school really would have been the easier choice. Here's a table to compare:

	Med School	Vet School
Instructional Periods	8 weeks	8 weeks
Testing	Only during finals week	Throughout all 8 weeks along with finals (and did I mention that we still have to attend our normal classes during finals week? Even though we are being destroyed by monstrous exams..)
Breaks	One week off after every finals week	Ha.
Grades	Pass or fail (with the opportunity to make up failed classes)	A-F, so there is still plenty of annoying competition and feeling stupid (and one F= kicked out)
Schedule	From what I’ve heard, they’re usually out by 3. At the latest.	Some days, we don’t get out until 7 pm (that’s 11-12 hours of being in classes/labs)
Material covered	One species	At least 10 species that we actively compare (and have to learn as in depth as the one species med students have to learn.. and in the same amount of time, I might add)

5. School isn't the only thing you'll have to worry about.

You're going to have all of these added responsibilities that you never thought might interfere with your studies. Like club obligations. Which doesn't seem so bad because clubs can be really fun, but then you are practically forced to join certain ones, and not only do you have to give them all your monies, but you also have to do all of this ridiculous volunteering for them (that is, mandatory volunteering). Then you have to help with school/class fundraisers and events and cleaning. And you thought you were done with those things when you finished undergrad. Silly you.

6. You will smell like death. Every single day for an entire year.

You are going to be spending a minimum of 9 hours a week in the anatomy lab (most of the time, it's more like 12-15). And you're going to get disgusting. Maybe cat dissections were nice, neat, and easy to clean up, but dogs that are almost as big as you are? And don't even get me started on the horses and cows. You are going to be wrestling with, rolling in, and diving into these smelly (sometimes moldy) embalmed animal carcasses. And let me tell you, the smell of formalin lingers. Especially in your hair. And did I mention that formalin (aka watered down formaldehyde) is a carcinogen? Yep, you're probably going to get cancer from this.
And you're going to get disgusting in ways you never expected. For example, when trying to put our freshly skinned, fat covered dog up after lab one day, my hand slipped as I was pulling the bag, and I punched my lab partner in the face with my slimy, fat/chemical covered hand (I was wearing gloves, but her face was not). And my hand was so slippery that after I punched her, all that goo slid right across her lips. Pretty sure she still hasn't forgiven me for that one...

7. Vet school consumes your brain.

Your life will = vet school. You don't realize how true that is until you're actually living it, I guess. But you will be eating, sleeping, dreaming, pooping, peeing, breathing, thinking vet school. It never stops. You will no longer function as a real human being. Everything in your life becomes referenced to vet school. Your urine is concentrated? Oh, anti-diuretic hormone.. look at you doing your job! You have to poop after eating a meal? That gastrocolic reflex is kicking in! You start seeing things that aren't really there... a picture of rainbow and a tornado looks like a uterus, a statue looks like an erythrocyte with prominent central pallor (must be from a dog). You forget normal, every day things. I forgot what a table was one day. I could tell you every single muscle in the pelvic limb, its origins, insertions, and innervations, but that thing over there... that you put things on... and it has legs... no idea. Your friends outside of vet school will be embarrassed to be seen in public with you because you won't be able to refrain from talking about parasites or necrosis or genitalia at the dinner table. You will literally become crazy.

8. You only get to play with dead animals.

For the first two years, you'll barely even see living animals apart from your own pets. Just dead things that you dissect and study. It's so sad, but you even start getting attached to your dead animals. We named our dissection dog Leroy. The cat was Ms. Kitty. Our horse is Richard. Our cow is Bessie. You even start giving them personalities ("Leroy is such a good boy! Look how well he's holding his leg up for us! While we cut into his muscles..."). If you didn't have a morbid sense of humor before getting into vet school, you'll develop one. You have to to keep from completely losing your mind in anatomy (well, that's arguable..). And let me tell you, things start getting weird in anatomy lab really quick. I caught one of my lab partners scratching his face with our dog's paw one day. And sometimes we make giant fat balls to play catch with. And there are so many penis jokes (when talking about which half of the animal each group got, an instructor came up to my lab partner that had the penis half our our horse and said, "Oh, you got the good side!" to which she replied, "Yeah, and they got the shaft, but they didn't get.... the shaft.").

9. It's terrifying.

Obviously you'll have this constant fear of failing (because one screwed up test could do it), but you also start getting a taste for how hard it is to be a vet financially, mentally, physically, and emotionally. People come in to talk to you about how broke you're going to be when you get out (as if you didn't already know), how hard it might be for you to find a job, and how little money you're going to make. And you just sit there thinking, "Why am I doing this again?" And then the reality of all the animals that have to die just so you can learn hits you (I'm not going to dwell on this one). And then another speaker comes in and tells you how she's been married 4 times because she works so much that she has trouble making family come first. It's an absolutely draining career choice. Yet we continue on... we must be crazy (I mean, the suicide rate for vets is pretty high...).

10. No one is going to get it.

You are going to have to sacrifice so much while you're in vet school. Family time, friend time, relationship time, you time, even animal time. All the things that were most important to you in life are going to have to take a (hopefully) temporary backseat while you're in vet school because that's what you'll have to focus on. It's heartbreaking how many of my classmates have already had loved ones pass away during our first year of vet school, and yeah, they got to leave for the funerals (and in doing so, put themselves at a huge academic disadvantage), but they never got to say goodbye. They didn't get the chance to spend time with them before they left their lives forever. And you can complain to your family and friends about how hard it is, but they won't understand. Not truly. The only ones that get it are your classmates. They become your temporary family and support system, and thank god for them because you probably wouldn't survive without them.

All these things being said; do I regret choosing this career path? Not for a minute. What can I say... I'm just completely insane.

To vet school and beyond!

My life has completely changed since my acceptance to vet school. I've moved, lost touch with friends and family, forgotten what "boredom" and "relaxation" mean, and have been working harder than I ever imagined. It's exhausting and frustrating, and sometimes I really kind of wish I would have waited a year to apply.

But then I learn something interesting and exciting, and I remember how amazing it is to be a future veterinarian. And it's not been all bad. I have my dogs, my hedgehogs, and my new snake, Tetra, to keep me company. And I met an awesome guy that has been nothing but encouraging and patient and supportive.

They're so cute.

Sexiest snake I've ever seen. She's a pastel ball python, and she's going to make beautiful babies someday with Stanley (who is living with his co-mother, Hillary).

 My first semester was pretty rough. I started out studying about as much as I did in undergrad... which wasn't much, and definitely was not enough for vet school. I think I'm getting the hang of things now, though, and I'm going to work on a "Procrastinator's Guide to Vet School" for the class that comes in below me. They're going to worship me for it.

I think part of my problem coming into vet school was that I was already pretty exhausted. I didn't really give myself much of a break over the summer because I worked at camp again. And yes, it is an incredibly fun and rewarding job, but holy cow is it draining.

Within minutes of my arrival at camp (this was the day after my undergrad finals were over), I was given 3 baby African Crested Porcupines to hand-raise. Just what I've always wanted.. 3 ugly, prickly, little rodents.

I guess they can be a little cute. If the lighting is right. 

They were named after porn stars. One was a male, and he looked like Ron Jeremy, so yeah... I had to do it. My friends named the girls to follow suit. We kept it on the DL by just calling them by their first names, so the kids never found out, don't worry. I also had to try to leash train Ron Jeremy. That was every bit as fun as it sounds.

I have scars from this.

My dogs got to live with me at camp this summer, so I took them down to the animal area every day, and they became quick friends with the pale fox, Gadget. I loved watching them play together because Gadget always got so excited, but every single time I got him out, he would either "mark his territory" on my foot or on one of my dogs' faces. It was displeasing, but I loved him anyway.

He probably wanted to pee on the camera, too.

One of my favorite things about the summer was my flesh eating beetles. I talked my boss into letting me get some so I could clean the bones of animals after I did necropsies on them, and they were so freaking awesome (I'm pretty sure the people that have to take care of them now hate me for it, though). Remember that paraplegic monkey I had? Yep, I definitely have her skeleton on the bookshelf in my living room right now.

Look at my precious babies eating away on that penis bone. I have a collection of them now. Don't judge me.

Marmie resurrected!

Speaking of necropsies... I did a freaking amazing one on Barbara Bushbaby. Her death was really, really sad, but cutting her open was probably one of the greatest moments of my life. That sounds terrible. I really loved that bushbaby. Seriously, I did. But the things I found inside of her... oh my god. Pure amazingness.

Wait.... that's a penis.... but.. but.. Barbara is supposed to be a woman!

That is.... not testicles.... What is going on here?!?!?

It's not a toomah! Except it is. This (along with the numerous other tumors filling her/his abdominal cavity) is why our potentially hermaphroditic friend kicked the bucket. :(

Good-bye, Barbara.

Ok, before you start thinking I'm a complete freak, I did skin her for a reason. The flesh eating beetles don't really like all that fur very much. The posing, though... yeah, that was just because I'm a freak.

The camp also got an adorable fennec fox named Dash (he's obnoxious and hyper, but I love him), my hedgehog had babies again (which is why I now have two hedgehogs), and I raised a number of baby birds again. So here is a plethora of cute animal pictures from my last summer before vet school.

My favorite dentist.

He no longer has these beautiful blue balls.

Lemur selfie!

A summer at camp is never complete without a fresh batch of puppies!

And then it almost ripped my hair out.

Swift! He was raised by another camp staff member.

Shaymi and her babies.

I love lemurs.

My little robin friend, Batman.

Dash! You can tell how much he loves me.

So handsome.

RIP Snatch

Snake goo.

Well, my internship at the zoo is officially over. I'm a little sad that I didn't have anything else exciting to write about, but I might go back to visit before I start vet school.

Speaking of which, I'm not entirely sure that it's completely sunk in yet. I'm going to vet school in a few months. Whoa. When I told the zoo vet I got in, she hugged with me a baby kangaroo. You'd think that would be a enough to make you realize that it's actually happening. Maybe it won't hit me until I get there...

But I have one week of undergrad left. That's it. Another whoa. And as soon as my last final is over, I'm packing up and heading to camp for half the summer. So I'll have half a summer of money making, animal adopting, kid teaching, dead animal cutting, organ preserving, and flesh eating beetle feeding. More details on that awesomeness later, though. And then in July, I'm moving, and my vet school preparation will begin.

I have to get a rabies vaccination before I start school. I wonder if I get a tag for it? If so, do I have to start wearing a collar? I was freaking out about it at first because I thought the shots were in your stomach, but apparently that's only if you get bitten by something first. So it's just in my arm, and I am very relieved.

They are also having a big retreat for the incoming class the week before school starts. It's at some camp, and we are supposed to do a bunch of team-building, friend-making exercises. So that will be fun... a bunch of antisocial, awkward vet students trying to do physical activities together... I mean, it's totally necessary. It forces us to make friends, but it's going to be painful. I feel awkward just thinking about it.

Since I don't have any recent animal adventures to share, here is one of my fondest memories from last summer at camp:

Isn't this one of the coolest pictures you have ever seen?!?

 That, my friends, is a Columbian Red-Tail Boa in the process of giving birth. Boas are one of the few (but not super few) snake species that have live births, and I was fortunate enough to get to see one actually happening. It was seriously one of the most awesome things I've ever experienced in my life. She had a total of 31 baby snakes (and a slug, which is an unfertilized egg.. it's the yellowish glob next to the mom's tail). Two of the babies ended up dying after about a day (my guess is that they were underdeveloped or weren't able to get enough oxygen through all of that snake goo), but the other 29 survived, and guess whose job it was to take care of them all summer?

Yeah. That'd be me. I had to teach those things how to eat. Do you know how freaking hard that is?! Especially when there are that many of them?! I spent countless hours sweating my butt off in that 80 degree reptile room. Every single day I had to do a count to make sure they were all alive, and that was incredibly difficult because the little jerks kept escaping on me. Then I spent a good hour everyday (unless I could find some poor, unsuspecting child to do it for me) changing their paper towels and waters (because every single one had its own box to keep track of feedings).

And then. Twice a week, I spent my entire evening dangling dead baby rats in front of their stupid, little faces, trying to encourage them to eat. Some of them didn't want to eat. And I did not like those. Not one bit. So I tried everything.. from rubbing the rats in gerbil litter to poking holes in their brains. Eventually, all of the snakes started to figure out how to eat, and that was one of the happiest days of my life.

I can't even tell you how many baby snake bites I endured that summer (some of them were strikers.. big time.. luckily they were so tiny that it didn't really hurt). But I wouldn't trade it for anything, and I even kinda miss those little guys. I almost wish I could have kept one, but they get like, 8 feet long, and I don't want to be eaten by my own pet.

This is about 6 months after they were born. Little dudes grow up so fast.

And it all pays off...

I guess I'm going to have to change my blog's name from the pre-vet life to the vet life because I was just accepted into vet school!!!!

Baby roo.

Yesterday when I arrived at the zoo, I noticed a sling around the vet's neck, and I knew that momma kangaroo had died. She was starting to do better, but I guess she just deteriorated overnight and had to be euthanized. 

So in the sling around the vet's neck was baby roo. Luckily, marsupial babies aren't terribly difficult to raise (the pouch thing is pretty helpful), but they are kinda messy (the whole, pooping in the sling and rolling around in it thing). And heavy. So to give the vet a break, I was on baby roo duty all morning.

She didn't want to hold still (too busy trying to nibble on everything she could get her mouth on).

Other than that, I didn't do much. Just cleaned a few things. And I was growled at by an adorably grumpy raccoon named Dan, who was angry that I was cleaning things near his isolation cage.

Smelly days.

Yesterday I spent the day at my favorite large animal clinic. The people there are awesome (like, they provide my lunch and/or breakfast almost every time I go out there, and nothing makes me happier than free food.. you know, besides animals). I wish I could shadow there more often (I start to miss the smell of cow/horse poop), but my schedule doesn't always allow it.

Anyway, everyone was bringing their horses in for Coggins tests, vaccinations, and equine dentals (aka floating teeth). I like horses and all, and I'm grateful for the experience, but Coggins tests and teeth floating are two of my least favorite things to help with. Coggins tests suck because of the paperwork associated with them. You have to freaking draw the horses. Like, down to every single marking on every single horse. So if you get a Paint or an Appaloosa, it takes you 20 minutes just to do the paperwork for one blood test. I mean, a lot of vets use shortcuts and stuff, but it's kinda ridiculous. Some places have just started taking pictures, but a lot of clinics around here are still using computers from the 80's.. so yeah, I don't see them hopping on the technology train anytime soon.

Try drawing every detail of that. While the wind is blowing. With a few horse hairs in your mouth. And while you are trying to avoid being kicked by all of the other horses standing around. It's not easy. (Not my picture, by the way.)

Floating teeth sucks because it's so tedious. And kinda gross. Luckily, this clinic has an awesome machine for it, but some places just use hand files to grind down the sharp tooth points, and that is just.. unspeakably horrible (imagine being covered in horse hair, sweat, blood, and saliva when you're done.. not fun). But even with the machine, it takes forever. And my job is "cheek/tongue holder". I wasn't very good at it when I first had to do it. They have really muscular tongues! And they are slippery! So it's really hard to keep them from flopping around.. I've definitely gotten better (it's a great hand workout), but those first few times were not pretty.

You have to hold onto those tongues like your life depends on it.. this man has a great tongue grip. (Also not my picture.)

 And today was my zoo day! It was quite eventful. The first thing we did was flamingo physicals. The vet handed me one to hold so she could examine it, and of course, she gave me the most ugly, feather-plucked, smelly, decrepit flamingo in the bunch (their necks are super difficult to control, by the way). And what did it do as soon as I had it in my arms? Pooped all over me (as if it didn't already smell bad enough). And then I had to go to class right after that. I got some strange looks, that's for sure.

When I got back from class, we did 3 maned wolf physicals (they had to be anesthetized for theirs). Maned wolves don't really look that big when you see them in their enclosure, but up close, they are kinda huge. They look huge, anyway. They don't really weigh that much, though (the heaviest was only 50 lbs.. they are super lanky, but don't look it because they are so furry). But they smelled pretty horrible, too. It was just a day full of lovely smells.

They're kinda pretty. If only they didn't smell so bad... (Again, not my picture.)

 I mostly helped with x-ray processing for the maned wolves. I also prepared a mammary tumor for a biopsy on one of them and gave some vaccinations, but that's not too exciting.

Then. The vet gave me a packet of this powder stuff and a syringe and asked me to go to isolation to syringe feed a mother kangaroo. The poor momma had toxoplasmosis (it's a parasitic disease caused by the same parasite pregnant women are supposed to avoid by not cleaning out cat litter boxes.. even though more people get it from gardening than litter boxes), and she was so messed up that she couldn't even stand on her own. So I mixed up her food, fed her all of it, and reported back to the vet. The vet seemed pretty impressed that I was able to feed her all of it (I've had plenty of experience with that type of thing, though). She was even more impressed when the kangaroo started trying to stand up just a few minutes after I fed her. She's still in pretty bad shape, but things are looking up for momma kangaroo.

A little while later, I went back in to check on her and discovered that the joey was out of the pouch and hoping around. The vet asked me to try to stimulate the joey so it would urinate. I was able to get a few dribbles of pee out of her, but then she pooped a massive poop right into my hand. It was pretty nasty, and I decided that I had probably rubbed her genitals enough for one day. The vet was quite pleased that I was able to cause baby roo poop, so I feel like I earned a lot of her respect today (and that, my friends, is why I love veterinary medicine.. what other profession can you earn respect by gently rubbing an animal's genitals until it poops in your hand?).

My little roo friend! This is my picture, as you can probably tell by the bad quality.

The last thing I helped with was a beak trimming on a scarlet ibis. I still haven't quite gotten his nasty fish smell off my hands, and his beak was terrible. It looked like a chunk of firewood. It took us forever to get it trimmed down, and it still doesn't look completely normal. It didn't help that he was pretty feisty and tried to bite us every chance he got. This was probably the most miserable part of my day because we wore masks while we were trimming (because no one wants to inhale rotten bird beak dust), and every single time I have to wear a mask (without fail), my nose itches like crazy. And I was holding a smelly bird, so I couldn't scratch it the entire time. It was torture! Someone needs to start adding some sort of nose scratching device to those masks. I'm sure every doctor in the world would appreciate it.

They're kinda cool looking when their beaks aren't so disgusting.