When monkeys attack..

I'm the quiet kid in classes. It's always been that way. If it weren't for my grades, my professors wouldn't even know I existed. Unless they do one of those "Getting to Know You" worksheets on the first day of class. Because I'm awesome at them. Especially when they ask something like, "Tell me a fact about you that will help me remember you." Most of the time, I doubt they remember what the students write down, but I know they remember mine. This is what I write:

"I was attacked by a horny monkey that was overly protective of his human 'mate'."

That gets their attention. 

Full story? Okay..

This happened at the zoo/camp I worked at, but it was before anyone was there (just the animal caretakers stuck around during the off-season). I guess it when I first started there because I was still just feeding animals, and I wanted to go in with Abu, the vervet monkey, for the first time (they like to be careful about who goes in with the primates). So I asked my boss, and she said she would take me in with him.

Boo. He's sweet when he's not acting like an angry 3 year old child. (I didn't take these pictures, by the way.. I was too worried he'd steal my camera.)

When we got to his room, she went in, and then Abu started acting weird (normally he was cool with me through the door). You would think that if a a reasonably-sized primate were trying to stare you down, you would get the idea that make he doesn't want you near him, but I ignored that. Silly me. I just wanted to be friends.

So my boss took him to the other side of the room, and I walked in. The door had barely shut before Abu had launched himself across the room and latched onto my arm. He twisted my flesh with either his teeth or his stubby, yet surprisingly sharp fingernails (it was really hard to tell which it was) and would not let go. I honestly didn't feel much except for his weight on my arm, which I halfheartedly tried to shake off. Thankfully, my boss grabbed his tail and pulled him off of me, and I was able to get out of there.

The damage wasn't too horrible, but I bled quite a bit (which was a little awkward because I had to go to my brother's wedding rehearsal right after that, and since I was a bridesmaid, I had to give that bloody, mangled thing to the groomsman that was walking with me.. I think he was little freaked out when he found out a monkey bit me), and I had a pretty huge bruise for awhile. Now, all that is left of that exciting day is the memory and a faded scar.

Abu and I are great friends now, though. Every time I visit him, he ever so gently grooms my head (after he tries to steal anything I might have in my pockets, that is). Turns out he just didn't want me to steal his 'mate' from him (I guess he thought I was a lesbian?). We've had some really interesting times together, Abu and I. Perhaps I will share some of them in upcoming posts.

Fun fact: Vervet monkeys have blue balls. Seriously.

Isn't that a lovely color? Monkey balls blue... I think I'd like to paint my bathroom that color someday. (This isn't Abu, but it might as well be.)